I cut myself shaving the other day. No big deal, I do that from time to time. On this occasion it was different...I cut my thumb, or more precisely, the knuckle on my thumb.
How you ask? It was a stupid mistake. I was rushing to get ready and reached in my shaving kit without looking. The contents had gotten jostled, from travel, and my thumb met Mr. Blade who was facing the wrong way. I felt the knick and pulled out a slightly thinner thumb. Shaving in a hurry is enough of a challenge, doing it while your thumb decides to be a Red Cross blood donor is even more difficult. Try it and see...no wait, just take my word for it.
I have tried to keep this quiet as I did not want some government agency, issuing a new safety law that would make us wear thumb guards or knuckle helmets. (They are just waiting to stuff another law down our throats in the interest of controlling us and generating revenue through fines). I figured that it was my duty to pass on this lesson to all. Look before you reach for sharp stuff.
I hate to shave as it is, as I find it a huge time waster and often the blades take off more than just whiskers. Why? Because I am a poor Canadian comic trying to get every use out of my Mach 3 blades that I can. I hate buying the over priced little buggers almost as much as I hate shaving. Why do we have to shave? Why does nature figure that humans need thick coarse hair sticking out of our faces? Even on some women!! (ewwwww)
With the number of years we have been on the planet, you would think we would have bred this out of us by now. No.
Every day, or two days if I have no shows, I have to take a surgically, sharp blade and try not to slit my face open...all in the name of vanity....or at least looking good enough to lure in a member of the opposite sex.
Women of today seem to want hairless men. They even have some guys wussing out and shaving their chests!! Stop it. You are just cowing down to their hidden lesbian tendencies...hairless chests. If all guys would stop trying to be these metro-sexual wuss men, life would be easier for all. Guys would shave less and thus bleed less.
Ladies, males have some body hair. Deal with it. I think we can trim it if it is exessive but to remove it all? I have not got time. Why? Because I have to get dinner ready. While all you gals were learning to bitch about extra hair, many of you forgot to learn to cook. So if you will excuse me I need to go and fry up some grub and try not to bleed all over it.
If I am lucky, I will make my show on time...but just by a hair!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Okay,.. so at first it LOOKS like a little boys blog about the trials of being an adult male and having to shave,.. that alone made me want to "blog" back a comment,.. but then the women forgetting how to cook,... hmmmmm,.. now I have to leave my two cents worth!!
Try shaving more than just your face!! Try shaving at least ten times the surface area,..and do it balancing on one leg,.. wet,.. and soapy,.. and try to get more than two or three shaves out of a razor blade,.. and try to do all that while you hurry because your male counterpart is always complaining about how late you make him trying to get ready,... and this is not including the extra time and dexterity it takes to shave any other parts,.. which shall remain unmentioned,.. if you have a male counterpart who likes a very smoooooooooooooth feel.
uh huh.
You cut your hand at least you can put a bandaid on it.
I'd be in the kitchen ,.. cooking up a gourmet meal if it wasn't for the fact that I was busy fighting the evolutionary fight!! And having to shave, guys, isn't necessarily a vanity thing,.. it is a prickly thing. You wanna attract The Smooth Ones,. you gotta make sure you aren't gonna scratch the hell out of her when you get near!!
Of course, scabs can be prickly too,.. so TRY not to cut yourself...
Note from Daryl: Sheri is not as hairy as she sounds!!
:-)
Post a Comment